#gonna tag the flavors mentioned in the post

[stimboardboy]

ice cream scooping

[creaturefeaster]

That lauren pic in your commisions post is… 😳

Oh lol boobular Lauren? That's a pic I've had sitting around for like a couple years at this point I think.

⚠️ suggestive art below ⚠️

under a read more because while it isn't like. tits out. it's still rather... erm. well. teehee 🍈

[glass-trash-bab]

Am I? Dying of starvation?

[moltengoldveins]

ok but I have Thoughts about the way Minecraft usernames translate to actual names, both irl and in fanfic. They’re definitely ‘obsessed with structure and grumpy at inconsistency flavor autism’ thoughts but still. I find it weird how we cut and paste the media we’re given to fit what we view as functional worldbuilding, and how that gets screwy when translating online names.

like, you’re working with several categories here. The person’s actual real name, their irl nickname, their gamer tag, a name possibly contained by or possibly the entirety of that gamer tag, and any extra pieces or symbols in the gamer tag. And you have the weird situation where those categories might not easily translate to a ‘First Name Last Name’ structure. For an example, we’ve got Phil Watson, who’s gamer tag is ‘Ph1LzA,’ and is called Philza Minecraft or Philza. The ‘Minecraft last name’ is a…. Bit? A joke? A reference to a bit of lore? It’s unclear. The ‘Za’ bit was put there for flair and is now an integral part of his name. Sometimes it’s his last name. Sometimes his real last name is chucked in there. the 1 in his actual username is literally never referenced in nicknames or fic it’s like it’s not even there. But that’s a simple one. What about Tubbo_? because we call him Tubbo Underscore. Like. We say the ‘_’ aloud. Why do we do that. What has possessed us to make that decision? What about FitMC? I’ve usually heard it said ‘Fit Emsee.’ Why say that, and not say ‘Minecraft? That’s not even really a last name, it’s just like…. His full first name. Fit is used more like a shortened nickname. BadBoyHalo. Like. ‘Bad boy’ is a slang term, not a name. It would make the most sense to call him Halo, that’s the distinct noun in the name, the term the ‘bad boy’ bit is referring to. Like ‘GoodTimesWithScar’ but noooo. Bad. Halo is usually a last name, if it’s there at all. Skeppy on the other hand is… just his name. No last name ever. Technoblade is also weird. Technoblade is his full name. We call him that. We ALSO call him ‘Techno,’ and use Blade as a last name. We also use Blade as a title. What the heck. GeminiTay. We call her Gem. We use Tay as a last name sometimes. Her name is a Zodiac constellation. Literally nowhere I’m have I seen that affect her naming conventions. IJevin. We just… remove the I. For everything. This wouldn’t bother me except we don’t do it with everyone and I’m starting to get annoyed by the inconsistency. GoodTimesWithScar. Ok. This one also bugs me. Like, most fics call him Scar Goodtimes when they need a name. I’m not gonna dig into it but that’s…. Why? Why that? Grian never gets a last name. Ranboo sometimes gets chopped into Ran and Boo but usually he’s an Underscore or he’s last nameless. Wilbur Soot functions wonderfully (until the get involved shhhh) but it’s too close to his real name it gets very confusing.

anyway, all of this sucks, I hate it all, we’re a terrible fandom /hj

all that nonsense aside, yknow who has a functional Firstname Lastname username? It’s even got a space, and proper capitals: Mumbo Jumbo. That’s who. Look at that. It’s perfect. Everyone should be more like Mumbo Jumbo. Thank you and good night.

.

Edit: I know about Ranboo Beloved and Grian Dreamslayer and the various other characters whose names I didn’t mention perfectly in this post. This was no piece of journalism, this was an old man shouts at cloud meme personified. I was very overstimulated and this was what happened to catch my autistic ire. I’m not upset, just figured I’d clarify, a lot of people seem distressed at my not mentioning Beloved. Hope y’all are having a lovely day 💜

[bigtedbear]

" 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 "

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

content warnings: nsfw content 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝟏𝟖+, dom top male reader, bottom male character, mlm, gay sex, anal sex, anal penetration, implied mpreg, breeding kink, implied impregnation (there's existential dread washing over me as I write this wondering what my ancestors think), unsafe sex (i fear condoms don't exist yet), they're both virgins but blade definitely doesn't act like one, the reader on the other hand-, sub top reader kinda, dom bottom blade kinda hallelujah amen, they're basically just both horny losers, medieval alternate universe, monsterfucking, blade is a dragon, mating rituals, extremely brief mentions of religion/purity/chastity, i didn't tag this as yandere cause that's kinda just blade???, hey 🪷 anon,,, pov getting over blade's creepy tendencies because of his absolutely fatal face card

ADDED CONTENT WARNINGS: body piercings (nipple piercings), mentions of lactation (there's no real lactation sorry guys i have to stick to the timeline), HEAVY talk of mpreg like that's the whole premise of this part, nipple play, reader is a FREAK for his wife, it came out way softer than I meant it to????, blade is still emotionally constipated but less than usual because he's also a horny loser

" new contact noted! caller blade has been added to your phonebook! - love, operator t-19 "

NOTE: hey guys I forgot about blades pierced nipples, both my heart and the hearts of my audience were broken

the public has spoken, I'm adding on more smut that's probably gonna basically revolve around his tits will update when this has been amended 🫡

SECOND NOTE: the section has been added in, you can read it as part of the entirety of the post of just a single drabble on foreplay with blades tiddies and HEAVY discussion of mpreg

" welcome back caller 🪷! connecting your line as we speak..."

‘The atmosphere swam around you like fish in a bowl; dark, dank, musty.

The strange tension in the air pulled you into an equally strange trance. Dazed, your perception seemed to fade in and out, in and out. Fully alert one moment, your eyelids were drooping as a wave of fatigue overtook you the next. You did your best to still the shaky sense of being that rocked the environment like a cradle, opting to try and break down the situation using your individual senses.

Sight: the air was cloudy and gray, thick like a curtain. You couldn't see it, but you knew there was a fire somewhere. It was shielded by the cold stone walls and the glittering mountains of gold and jewels.

Sound: the crackle of the fire and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Ominously, the quiet “drip… drip… drip…” of an unknown source tickled your eardrums.

Smell: sulfur and smoke curled and singed the tips of your nose hairs. The unpleasantness almost completely shrouded the warmth of the smoldering firewood. Some other smell, however, also permeated the area… something strong but hidden beneath the smell of smog.

Taste: akin to bile and equally nauseating, it crawled up your throat and threatened to spill past your lips. Infused with the noteworthy copper tone, the flavor in your mouth was disgusting at best.

Touch: there was a considerable weight in your dominant hand. It drew your arm down, down, down. Metal coated every inch of your body, but you were already used to that as a knight.

You forced your arm up, revealing to yourself what you had been holding. Of course, it was your own aged, well-loved sword…

drip… drip… dripping crimson.’

As much as your body urged you to sit up straight the moment you were awake, your lackluster sleep kept your body flush against your equally lackluster bed. Thrown together with what little blankets you could manage to carry, it was too thin and too flexible to adequately support your body.

Still, despite the recurring nightmares and terrible moral dilemmas, you forced your impossibly heavy body to sit up. The tiny wisps of sunlight that peeked through the openings of your makeshift tent forced you to squint. .Calloused hands met your face, trying to wipe the tired crust out of your eyes and bring some kind of sensation to your skin.

How pathetic. A Xianzhou Luofu knight afraid of a little blood.

It was a wonder you managed to retain your position, nonetheless become the unspoken “Chosen One” among your ranks.

Sure, you were tall, imposing even, muscular and sharp-witted. But even then, all that qualified you to be a top-rank knight was equally balanced with factors that should've barred you from the position altogether.

A pacifist, an outlander, and more than just uninterested, you were not only an oddity, but an exception to many of the hiring requirements. It was a shame your chosen profession as a botanist became a long forgotten dream you only seemed to remember when you weren't patrolling (never).

Combing your fingers through your hair served as a self-soothing gesture when you became lost in your thoughts. It'd first been pointed out to you by the Arbiter General. However, as you found yourself traversing the narrow, winding passages of inner conflict, you found it impossible to get into a rhythm.

It was to be expected after a few weeks of traveling. Your body was coated in soil and your hair was no exception. It was starting to get matted and knotted, more than just difficult but near impossible to comb through.

Of course you'd washed yourself during the prior few weeks, but continual travel and no access to good soap stunted what could be washed off your body in cold streams or still ponds.

The mountains nearby actually were known for two things; natural hot springs and… that other thing. While you might have originally intended to climb the mountain for one, the other served a pleasant add-on.

…

…maybe a hot bath would help ease your mind just a little bit.

However, deciding to take a bath in a hot spring was one thing. Then came the question of how you'd find a hot spring to take a bath in. You turned the query over in your head a few times before you came to a final decision.

‘I mean, they're everywhere, aren't they? It shouldn't be too hard to find one around here.’

With the decision made, you made the effort to stumble through your usual morning routine. Making breakfast, packing up your tent, and pulling on your heavy suit of armor, you prepared for another long day scaling the mountain.

With nobody to talk to, the only voice that cut through the sounds of the mountain habitat was your internal monologue. Crushing the twigs and branches under foot, the sparsely marked path was all but forgotten as the imagery of the strange visions from your sleep dotted your vision.

It was only when you'd nearly fell into a hot spring that you seemed to wake the fuck up and stop thinking about the nonexistent blood staining your sword.

Carefully, you propped your pack on a nearby tree, shielded by some shrubbery for safe keeping. Piece by piece, you began to strip the heavy pieces of iron armor that weighed down your fatigue worn body. They dropped to the hard, arid soil.

They looked as though they were smeared with red.

You blinked, rubbing your eyes.

It was just the same armor you always donned. Free of blood, free of stains.

You chastised yourself mentally for being such a wimp. All it took to make you crack was a task and a little sleep deprivation.

When the final piece of armor hit the sparse grass, you were left in the thin shirt and worn pair of trousers. Carefully, you unlaced the drawstrings at your collar, hastily tugging your shirt off to lay on the dirt. You kicked off your shoes and peeled off your socks next. Despite being all alone in the mountains, for fear of being watched, you crept closer to the water before beginning to unbuckle your belt.

The warm water on your skin was a luxury you seldom had the fortune to indulge in; one you hadn't indulged in since leaving. Sinking into the depths of the tide, your eyes fluttered shut. Finally, what greeted you in the darkness of your mind wasn't the visage of murder scene.

Originally, you’d chosen to bask in the warmth of the natural hot spring to clear your mind. Your task and the blood that would be on your hands… it weighed heavy on your conscience.

Observing the abundance of flora that decorated the banks of the water, you managed to strangle an eerie serenity you’d thought you’d lost. Sitting against the rocks and letting the soft slosh of the waves wash the muck and mire off your body, the tension building in your muscles finally seemed to release just a little bit.

Still, when your hands shook while brushing through the knots in your hair. Something unsettling resting at the bottom of your stomach told you not to get too comfortable.

Why did it feel like someone was watching you?

It took a day and a half to find the entrance to the cave.

For holding such a strong, looming beast in its walls, the opening to the nest wasn’t nearly as imposing as you’d imagined it to be. It made sense, thinking about it objectively. It wasn’t as though the dragon was trying to be found…

Still, you considered that perhaps it would’ve wanted to set up some kind of deterrent to all those that dared to enter.

With a heavy heart, you laid your possessions off to the side of the opening in the stone, taking the first few lumbering steps into the opening.

It was more than just eerie how similar the inner workings of the dragon’s den were to the visions you'd been having. Like some kind of prophet, the sights, the smells, the sounds, even the weight of your sword in your hand from your dream were like they were ripped straight from this moment in time exactly.

It was difficult to be quiet. The spilling piles of metal trinkets and gold coins littered the floor and clinked against the pieces of armor that adorned your figure.

Still, creeping in deeper to the cave, you came to a strange realization.

The dragon’s den was empty.

Despite knowing you were afforded the unique opportunity to have the upperhand in enemy territory, it didn’t seem to calm your anxious heart in the slightest. Instead, a new anxiety wrapped your pulse like a parasite.

You didn’t know why.

Up until this point, you attributed your nerves to fear of inadequacy. You were a head taller than the rest of the Cloud Knights, you worked hard for your position, but hard work did not equal competence.

Patrols were worlds away from dragon slaying. The worst you’d had to deal with was the occasional thief, a dispute in the squares, you weren’t killing mythical beasts on the daily. Relatively speaking, you were still at the very beginning of your life as a long-life species. You were a novice—a baby–in comparison to any of your superiors.

Stalking up the mountain, the weight of your sword was perpetually heavy in your hands because you felt you hadn’t earned the right to wield it.

But now, here you were.

There was a golden opportunity served to you on a platter, an ambush. You could sneak up on the dragon, free its head from its shoulders and return from the mountain a hero.

So why were you suddenly even more scared than before?

Why could you not just appreciate this blessing bestowed upon your shoulders?

As more and more doubts started to cloud your mind, you could feel your breathing start to pick up.

Aeons, this entire thing was becoming far too real.

You could pretend you were just going on some other trip while you were hiking up the side of the mountain. You could pretend this was just some training exercise when you laid down in your makeshift shelter at night. But right now? Right now, it seemed like reality was starting to set in.

You were inside of the dragon’s lair. You were inside of the den.

The light from somewhere deeper in the stone maze flickered and tickled the underbelly of the smoke and smog that hung heavy in the air. The shiny piles of gold that seemed to decorate every wall were almost mockingly bright. Even when you closed your eyes, the outline of the giant glittering heaps of extravagance traced the darkness behind your eyelids.

Rather quickly you came to the conclusion that you were hyperventilating. The grip on your weapon became harder to maintain as the influx of breath caused your vision to swim.

Still, when you heard a noise at the other end of the cavern, you ceased at once.

The shoddy handle you had on your sword suddenly became bone crushingly tight. You cringed at the noise of steel handguards scraping the metal handhold.

Soon enough, the shrill screech was nothing but a distant memory as the room was swarmed with the curious sound of rushing air. The thick, dark smoke that hung like a cloud was suddenly moving in a frenzy, rushing about like it had somewhere to be. Instead of clearing up, it seemed the moving smoke only further clouded your vision.

Your free arm came up to try and keep it out of your eyes. You screwed your feet to the sticking plate, remaining in stance and trying to figure out what exactly you were hearing beyond the opening of the dragon’s den.

The pit of dread forming in your stomach took a steep turn for the worse when you realized exactly what you were hearing.

The flapping of giant wings drew closer to the entrance of the cave and suddenly your previous courage started to dissipate into nothingness. You might have seen the dragon from afar when it came to ambush the treasury before, but the sound it was making now made it seem as though it was the size of the entire castle.

Taking a much stronger liking to your former ambush plans, you shuffled to one of the few exposed walls in the ever winding corridors of stone.

Good gods, the sounds were getting even closer now.

Both hands gripped the handle of your rather large weapon, the shriek of metal against metal all but drowned out by the louder and louder beating of your heart against your eardrums.

‘THUD!’

Your heart jumped into your throat.

The smoke began to settle again.

You forced your breathing to do the same.

You waited…

…and waited…

…and waited some more…

…but curiously…

…you didn't hear anything.

You realized something was wrong, but it took you a few more breathing cycles to actually solidify your resolve to check.

‘One…

Two…

Three!’

Cautiously, you peeled your back off the wall as quietly as possible. Despite your best efforts, there was a just barely audible scrape of stone against the back of your metal shin guards. Your face twisted with displeasure.

Still, nothing.

Waiting for another moment, you finally turned the corner and peeped just beyond the wall and back to the entrance of the cave.

The beast heaved through its nose as evidenced by the smoke billowing out of its nostrils. Its wings curled into its sides, but with the uncanny angling of the bones, the posture they had taken was awkward and forced.

It was about then you noticed the glaringly obvious problem the dragon had been confronted with.

A comically oversized crossbow arrow lodged where its ribs should've been. Grimly, you recognized the arrow to belong to the Zhuming. A clawed foot rested over the injury, most likely trying to feel for a solution of some kind.

Based on its current predicament, it was failing miserably.

Before you could even process what you were seeing, there was a blinding flash of light that forced you to shield your eyes. When you finally lowered your arm, you had to blink a few times to process what you were seeing.

In the previous position of the dragon, sat a man.

…but he was also obviously the dragon?

Long curled horns atop the crown of his head, a long serpentine tail dragging behind him on the ground, he heaved the same smoke and cradled the same injury.

Despite your reservations, you approached.

Sword heavy in your hand, you dropped it clattering to the ground.

That was when the man locked eyes with you.

Dragons were slowly beginning to die out.  

Of course, that was only natural when their usual courting rituals involved pissing off every other species known to man.  The larger the stash of gold, the more desirable a dragon would be to another.  The more valuable the gold, the harder it would be to steal. 

One would think this wouldn’t apply to Blade, a dragon with little to no interest in settling down.  However, at his core he was still a dragon and he still felt the need to build his own little stash of gold for peace of mind. 

What little dragons were left in the world had exactly zero appeal to him.  The proud, strong ones had all been eliminated by technology and weaponry far beyond the capabilities of a singular beast.   The only ones that seemed to be left were those that took to hiding and settling for paltry sums that served more as a courtesy than something that would draw a potential match in naturally. 

He frowned upon it entirely.  

Blade seemed to be the only dragon left in the Xianzhou with the upright morals that made up the core belief system of the species as a whole.  But because of his own steadfast values, he also seemed to be the only dragon that refused to form a bond with one of his own. 

He had never known the comfort of another, never. 

Yet when he awoke, he found himself atop a nest of soft blankets.  Blinking away the fatigue from his eyelids, he was greeted with the visage of a man at rest.

Half stripped of armor, a few meters away from him, a knight polished his breastplate while watching something roasting over a fire.  Completely at peace in the tranquility of the silence, (e/c) eyes sparkled in the low light against the dreary atmosphere of the cave. 

The smell of meat stunk up the corridor with an aroma enticing enough for Blade’s mouth to water.  His clawed hands searched for some kind of purchase against the fluff of the comforters you'd laid him on as piercing red eyes swept his cave.  

Your sword was nowhere to be seen.  

Why?

Blade would've asked if he wasn’t already in an extremely compromised position.  

You hadn’t even done anything to him, he had been incapacitated in his own home without you having to so much as raise a finger.  You had been sent to kill him, even if you had chosen to do the exact opposite as of now, he didn’t know if or when you would feel the need to go back on your silent promise not to hurt him. 

As he went to lay his tousled hair back against the blankets you’d laid out on the cave floor, embarrassingly, he misjudged the stability of his arms.  With an even more embarrassingly loud–but muted–thud, his clawed fingers slipped against the fabric and his face hit the comforter just a second later. 

The noise cracked the little moment you were having by the fire roasting meat over the open flame.  Your eyes trailed over to where he was laying, basically completely still.  He hoped that if he played dead, you wouldn’t comment on him falling back onto the makeshift mattress. Unfortunately, his prayers went unanswered. 

“Careful,” you admonished him gently, “I just stitched up the puncture, if you strain too much, I’ll have to do it again and you probably won’t be asleep this time.” 

Still, instead of coddling him like a baby, you turned back to the shiny piece of metal in your lap reflecting the impassioned red hues of the fire.  With a damp rag, you swept over each and every scratch and dent with a special precision and care Blade was both unfamiliar and uncomfortable with. 

Still, despite the idea being completely foreign to him and the soft nausea that rocked his gut with the unfamiliar trepidation, he found it difficult to pry his eyes away from your hands. 

You used your fingernail to pick at the larger pieces of dirt, otherwise pressing the pads of your fingertips to the rag to wipe and wipe until the heavy armor shined.   This, Blade wasn’t unfamiliar with.  The gleam of the metal mirrored the mounds of spoils he’d managed to snag from the surrounding kingdoms.  After you finished with the breastplate, the rag and the plate were set to the side in favor of grabbing a dagger strapped to your thigh. 

To this, the man sprawled on the sheets visibly seemed to cringe and crumple in on himself.  

He was increasingly vulnerable: you knew this. 

You really didn’t want to infantilize him, he was a feared predator and someone who far outmatched you in terms of experience and wisdom.  You brandished the dagger as you would’ve any other times, but avoided making any sudden movements. 

You cut into the rather large slab of meat carefully, observing the color of the meat and the feeling of the muscle under the edge of the knife.  

Satisfied with the hue and smell of the meat, you stomped a boot onto the pile of leaves you’d used to establish the fire.  The dragon was visibly alarmed by the sudden loud noise, but you paid him no mind.  Instead, you removed the stake you’d been using to roast the meat from the precarious stand you’d painstakingly crafted. 

Using the dagger once again, the goat meat you’d be salting and seasoning for a couple days slid off the stick you’d whittled down with ease.   You dropped the generous flank steak in front of the observing party.  You sheathed the dagger in its holster on your thigh once again, dropping back onto the stone you’d turned into a makeshift stool.  

It took Blade a moment to realize that the portion of meat was for him.  His mouth watered at the smell, especially since the hide had been pierced and the true aroma of the seasonings began to mingle with meat.  He poked at it carefully with a taloned finger.  

You watched him prod at the food, crossing your arms in front of your your chest as you observed.

“...”

“...”

Finally, the other man pulled himself to sit up.  Dragging the meal into his lap, he began to eat. 

Once again, you watched him with a nonchalance that sent the hairs on the back of Blade’s neck standing up. 

After he finished eating, you seemed to turn away from him once again to give him his privacy.  Instead, you picked up the next piece of dirty armor to start to scrub off the accumulated dirt.  

“Why?” 

Blade’s cheeks simmered a baby pink upon the realization his voice had cracked.  Instead of pointing it out, you skipped over it entirely. 

“Why what?” 

“Why are you helping me?” 

You shrugged.  

He blinked.  

“...”

“...”

You hummed, “Perhaps I’m not cut out to be a knight.” 

He balked at your response. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, “The entire time I was climbing the mountain, I thought I was scared I wouldn’t be able to kill you.”  You chipped away at the building dirt on the surface of your shin guard, “I eventually realized it wasn’t that I couldn’t kill you.”

“...”

“...”

“...Then what’s stopping you?”  His clawed fingers gripped at the plush material beneath him, “You need to kill me, so why don’t you?” 

You sighed, sweeping off the chalky remains of a particularly rough mud stain, “I don’t want to.  I really don’t want to kill you; I don’t want to kill anyone.”  You held the rag tight in your offhand,  “If I can, I really want to solve this in a way where you don’t die.” 

“...”

“...”

“...”

You swallowed the building lump of spit at the back of your throat,

“So, name your price.  What exactly do you need in order to stop attacking Xianzhou?”

What did Blade want in return for not attacking the Xianzhou Alliance?

He didn’t know.

He was honest in not knowing what he wanted in exchange. You appreciated it… to a certain extent. He was honest and he didn’t lie to you when he said he didn’t know, but his indecision also put you in the precarious position of not knowing whether or not he was stringing you along until he healed and could properly fight you.

You were half tempted to put a deadline on his decision, but every time you looked over at his pitiful body lounging around on your blankets in his loose drapery, you decided against it.

It was around this point you learned his name.

You had what you liked to believe was a gentleman’s agreement. Even with the lack of any verbal acknowledgement, you would stay here and oversee his healing process. Eventually, he would make a decision on what he wanted in exchange for peace. Even if he decided there really wasn’t anything you could provide for him, he would allow you to walk away from this alive if you ultimately came to the decision to not try to kill him.

It was a little bit awkward to start with, neither trusted the other.

You were worried he’d grow tired of you taking up the space in his cave and slaughter you in your sleep. He was worried you’d do the same if you eventually grew tired of his indecision or some kind of outside pressure from your commander came up. Still, that was an awkward conversation to bring up so you opted to avoid it entirely.

After a week or so, the two of you seemed to grow a lot more comfortable with each other. It was about then you were starting to run out of meat.

While Blade had been unconscious, you’d been making trips to and from the closest water source to get your hands on some water for stew. You boiled some of the rabbit bones you’d held onto for broth, pulled out some salt and leftover meat you dried to make him some soup. He couldn’t chew while he was awake so that was the best you could do for him.

When you started running out of those ingredients, you went out and brought back a mountain goat for meat. While in the process of cooking yourself a nice, juicy flank steak, Blade had woken up. It’d be rude to hold a big hunk of meat in front of him without giving him some of the spoils, especially since he hadn’t been eating anything but bland rabbit stew while he was out of it. For the next few days, you cooked up what remained of the goat and shared it between the two of you.

Goats were not an infinite source of magical forever meat though, so you ended up having to go out to get more food. You left and came back with another goat, started cooking it. Around the time you came back, it seemed Blade was waking up from a nap and he fully came around when the cooked meat was basically being dangled right in front of his nose.

Once again, there weren’t any words exchanged between the two of you but the air seemed to be a lot more relaxed than usual. He didn’t seem to be picking at every bite of food you served him and you weren’t watching him like a hawk while you were clearing your own plate. A few more days went by before you actually started talking over your food.

You’d been the one to initiate the conversation, asking if he’d been thinking about anything that could possibly convince him to stop adding to his ever growing treasure hoard. He responded he had, but he still hadn’t come to any conclusions.

You didn’t press any further.

The next day while eating, you asked him again. Once again, he answered in the negative. Again, you didn’t press any further.

The third day, when he answered in the negative, you decided to press him further. You asked him, “Why exactly do dragons create hoards?” It was a long talk about mating rituals and explanations later that he seemed satisfied with his answer. You, also, were satisfied with this answer.

A few more days of asking went by before you would run out of meat again. At this point in the year, summer was beginning to come to a close and the peaks of the mountains were becoming colder and colder.

Instead of venturing out in just your shirt and trousers, you’d decide to pull on your armor before venturing out of the cave. While it was definitely warm inside the stone walls of the dragon’s den, the air outside the cave couldn’t say the same. In order to preserve your body heat, putting on more layers was the best course of action, even if the layer was made completely out of metal.

It seemed, while you were suiting up in armor that Blade watched you with a special curiosity he had yet to display before. For the first time since you’d stitched up his wound, he made the effort to approach you first. He gave you a once over in your suit, eyes dragging over the shine of the metal in the light of the fire.

You didn’t know why he was looking at you, but you’d made a habit of not asking too many questions about things you didn’t understand. He seemed satisfied after a little bit, nodding his head and letting out a grunt of approval. You nodded in response, holstering your sword in your belt.

Eventually, you would return with another goat. It really was the only option for food seeing as two grown men needed a little more food than a few rabbits could provide. With the goat over your shoulders, you made the long trek back to the cave and back to the warmth that came with it.

When you eventually found your way back to the same stone walls, Blade was at attention waiting for you at the door. You dropped the fresh game onto the ground, the dragon watching intently. It made you uneasy, but what could you do about it?

As you went to strip yourself of your armor, it seemed something about your hunting trip had caused something to change inside what you believed to be your temporary companion. Your hands rested on top of the large steel helmet, but before you could tug it off, there were clawed fingers fumbling with the hooks on the inside of your shoulder plates.

You jumped, startled.

Quickly, the same talons retracted.

You turned your head to face him, chastise him for sneaking up on you like that and putting his hands on you. However, your complaints were promptly swallowed. His expression hadn’t changed in the slightest, but he still managed to look like a kicked puppy.

Despite the stone cold nature of his face, his fingers clasped close to his chest like he didn’t know what to do with them. The long draconic tail was tucked between his legs and his head was painted a bashful pink and lowered just the slightest bit to avoid eye contact.

Your brows furrowed, really wondering if you should be letting him do this. The longer you looked, the more moved your poor, weak heart was. In the end, you huffed through your nose before going back to removing your helmet and turning your back on him again.

Slowly this time, the hands crept up your shoulder to unhook the heavy plate from your bicep. You didn’t pay him any mind the second time around, undoing the buckle that kept your metal handguards flush against the back of your knuckles.

He was a quick learner, especially once he'd gotten into the groove of helping you take off the amalgam of pieces that clung to your clothing. Soon enough, you were back in your shirt and trousers, turning to start a fire so you could warm up.

He trailed back over to the little pile of blankets you'd laid out for him. His eyes lingered as you started to skin the goat you'd brought home.

His home.

Something clicked in his brain as he observed. Despite the piles of gold that covered every other square inch of the scenery, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He didn't know why.

When you were in armor he could write it off as another innate attraction to something shiny for his hoard. But at the moment you were in plain clothes, doing something he'd seen you do before already. Still, he watched with what he could only describe as bated breath. Mesmerized by the simple movement of the dagger cutting through the layers of fat.

As he tapped his nails against the plush fabric, he seemed to realize something.

His fingers stopped moving.

He blinked a couple times

'Yes,' he concluded,

... perhaps he knew what he wanted.

It was quiet, as it usually was for the majority of the time you would be eating dinner.   Usually, you’d be the one to initiate the same conversation every single day.  It was monotonous and predictable to the point that you could recite word for word what the two of you would say, the tone, and in what order. 

“Have you thought about my offer at all, today?” 

“I have.” 

“Have you come any closer to making a decision?”

“I have not.” 

If nothing else, you could count on Blade to be reliable. 

Tonight however, your mind wandered.  

Instead of striking up the usual conversation the two of you would have over dinner, you found your thoughts drifting off to your life on the Luofu.  The temporary situation you found yourself in wasn’t bad, not at all even.   If you were to make any complaints, it would be about how lonely you felt. 

Even if you had a dragon to keep you company day in and day out, the dragon wasn’t all that good at being company.  He didn’t like to talk but he liked to watch.  Instead of having someone to pass comfortable silence with, it felt more like you were being observed by a camera. 

Again, you really didn’t mind.  You enjoyed your solitude and alone time.  Today specifically, you reminisced on your home, your garden, your coworkers.  You missed the privacy that came with living alone, you missed quiet afternoons on your days off tending to a low maintenance garden.   Even if your coworkers annoyed you most of the time, they still made the effort to make you feel included.  

Adrift among the clouds of memory lane, it completely slipped your mind to start up your usual conversation.  Not only did you not pick up normal conversation, it seemed you were somewhere else altogether.   You didn’t even notice the nervous fidgeting across the makeshift fire pit.  

Blade’s long nails tapped all but silently on the cushioned ground.  The long tail that trailed behind him swished back and forth quicker than usual.  Instead of the same lethargic, languid movement, scales brushed over the bed haphazardly like the pendulum of a grandfather clock.  

Tonight, he would be the one to initiate the conversation. 

“I’ve thought about your offer.” 

You blinked a couple times, taking a second to process what was being said.  

“You have?” 

Finally in the present moment, your hand reached forward for your own share of dinner laid out between the two of you.   Absent-mindedly you raised the steak to your mouth, chewing and swallowing in the time it took for the other man to respond. 

“I have.” 

The tapping of his nails ceased, instead taking to poking and prodding his food.  

You nodded, falling into the familiar lull of the conversation.  “Have you come any closer to making a decision?” 

“...”

“...”

A pause. 

That was new. 

“I have.” 

“...”

“...”

That was newer.  

You finally tore your gaze away from the slab of meat in front of you, making direct eye contact.  

His expression was immovable and stone cold as before.  At least, it appeared to be upon first glance.  You were quick to notice the tension in his jaw and the tiny crease between his eyebrows.  It seemed he was… nervous? 

“...you have?” 

Instead of responding verbally, he gave a curt nod of the head.  

“...”

“...”

You tilted your head to the side, thoughts of eating all but abandoned the more and more the reality of the situation set in.  

“What did you end up deciding?”

“...”

“...”

He folded his arms into his lap, swallowing the lump of spit at the back of his throat in the process.  “I want you to stay here; permanently.” 

“...”

“...”

You cocked your head to the side, “...as a companion?” 

“...”

It took him a second to respond; his hand clenched around the hunk of flesh in his palm.  Internally, you cringed at the noise his talons made tearing into the meat. 

“...I suppose it'd be similar to that.” 

You didn't grasp what he was trying to get at, still.  “Similar?  I… I'm getting the feeling that I'm not quite following.” 

He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.  You could feel a pang of anxiety nip at the corners of your pulse.   Like always, it seemed he struggled to find the words to accurately articulate himself.  He always paused before he said something, searching for exactly the right way to convey himself. 

“Dragons collect hoards to draw in potential partners; I explained this to you a few nights ago.” 

Then it clicked. 

“...oh.” 

Still, the man sitting across from you continued.  “If I fulfilled the purpose of collecting a hoard, there wouldn’t be a need for me to continue visiting the Xianzhou.” 

Your cheeks started to burn indignantly.  “I-” you bit the inside of your cheek, “Wouldn’t you prefer help in finding a partner rather than just settling with the first person to enter the cave?  It seems counterintuitive to collect such a… robust hoard and partner with someone such as myself. We wouldn't be able to produce any... offspring seeing as we're both men.” 

Instead of his usual pause, Blade was quick to respond in the negative.

“I find you to be more than satisfactory.” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but found it increasingly difficult to find the right words to say.  “It’s just-” you stammered, “I’m not- I don’t-”

Your jaw snapped shut after a couple attempts to open a dialogue.   Your brows crept down your face in an expression of exasperation.  You flexed your hand into fists and then relaxed them again, trying to collect your thoughts.  

Directly in front of you, the dragon sat with an unmoving expression. 

You huffed a sigh, trying to ignore the painful flame across your cheekbones, “This would cause a few complications for me, is all.  I’m unsure why you’re choosing this; I can’t seem to find the logic behind this and I’m frustrated.  I want to confirm that this is truly what you want before I commit to fulfilling your request.” 

Once again, he seemed to answer in the affirmative without a second thought.  

“I am sure.” 

You locked gazes with him.  It almost seemed like you were challenging his resolve.  Without any prompting he confirmed himself. 

“I have thought on this matter for a period of time, I have confirmed this is the best option.” 

You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip, seemingly going through the processes that would be required to actually fulfill the task set out in front of you.  Without really thinking too much about your next words, you pondered to yourself aloud, “Isn't the purpose of mating to have children? You really wish to be married; married to me?”

The end of his tufted tail rattled in the air, seemingly amused, “Is that what the people of the Xianzhou call it? Aside from the issue of marriage, dragons have long evolved for both male presenting and female presenting partners to be able to carry children.”  It was difficult to gauge what he was actually feeling, “...if that is the context you must view it in.” 

Your face got impossibly redder, food completely forgotten by this point.  “Well, that-”  you made a gesture with your hands, “-That would require a ceremony–a wedding– because of my own pledges as a Knight.” Your hands fell into your lap, “I would need to assemble a dowry for a proper proposal, exchanging rings, vows…” In a much quieter voice, you all but whispered, “...and the expected traditions after the wedding…” 

For the first time during the discussion, Blade’s expression shifted.  His lips pressed into a thin line.  There was an awkward silence that hung in the air.

“...”

“...”

Eventually, he sighed, “The Xianzhou complicates these matters too much for my own liking.” 

You avoided eye contact, the flush on your face having long crept down your neck and up your ears. “...”

Once again, Blade’s expression changed.  He closed his eyes to let out a sigh, raking a hand through his silky navy blue hair.  “We can go through these rituals quickly, yes?  I don’t see the need for a large affair, the agreement is between the two of us.” 

You didn’t really have the mind to reject him, nodding your head slowly after a pause that felt a little bit too long,

“I suppose so.” 

“I believe a fitting dowry would be your armor.  You will be giving up your status as a knight to stay here with me, will you not?” 

Despite the fact you’d already seen his upper torso unclothed in the process of stitching up the crossbow wound cutting across the bottom of his ribs, the new context of the situation made your face flush a bright red.  Where there had been a deep puncture wound carved by arrow, lay a star-shaped imprint of the memory.  

His dexterous fingers wound up your sides on top of your clothes, stopping when they came to grasp the draw strings keeping your collar closed.  

You realized you could stop him from pulling on them any moment now, he even paused to make sure he wasn’t moving too quickly.  Instead of grabbing his wrists to stop him, you laid your hands on his thin, lean waist.  Leaning against the impossibly soft hug of the blankets he’d been sleeping on top of for weeks, you tried to stay grounded and slow down your breathing.   While avoiding eye contact, your eyes trailed down to his chest.

They were pierced.

Ripping your eyes away, you suddenly were now very conscious of where you were putting your eyes. Instead of giving him any verbal encouragement, your hands gently squeezed his love handles. 

His throat gave a pleased rumble, his hands pinching the ends of the drawstring not unsimilar to how one would undo the ribbon on a gift. 

“I’ve amassed a plentiful amount of rings to choose from, pick two and we’ll exchange them now.” 

With a healthy amount of trepidation, your hands found themselves tracing Blade’s waistband.  The loose bottoms he usually wore were equally loose around his hips, displaying a navy blue trail of hair framing the center of his pale stomach.  

Impatiently, he raised his hips so you could tug his pants off.  You hesitated to follow suit, suddenly seized by a wave of anxiety.  Still, it seemed Blade was less than happy with that outcome.  

One of his hands moved from bracing his weight on your thighs to making a grab towards your chest.  He leaned forward, all but hovering over your body.  Despite being in such a compromising position, it was hard to not be a little intimidated by the constant look he had in his eyes.  It was almost like he was constantly planning a murder.

With his non-verbal request to go a little bit faster, you finally pulled his waistband down below his knees.

“Vows aren’t a complicated matter, it’d be much easier to speed up the process here.  We can say our vows while consummating the marriage, can’t we? I don't want to delay the mating rituals of my own kind either.” 

Like he was following a rhythm, little huffs and panting fell past his open lips.  His eyes were wrenched shut, hips falling back onto your lap with each little movement he made.  His thighs shook as you tried your best to stretch him out.  He wasn’t making it easy, long clawed fingers digging into your shoulder blades the deeper your fingers were reaching.  

He let out a particularly loud whine as your fingertips just barely grazed the little spot inside him that made him see stars.  

His grip on your shoulder tightened, hips shifting impatiently to inch closer to your knuckles.  You hissed, feeling the very tips of the talons start to break the skin.  You started to draw your fingers from his hole, chastising him for not being more gentle.  “Careful, I’ll bleed if you squeeze that hard.” 

When confronted with his lack of self-control, it seemed Blade retreated into himself.  With the two of you sitting up at this point, it was difficult to shy away from your eyes.  His face transitioned from a sweet pink to an embarrassed cherry red.  He didn't answer your admonishment verbally, but it was clear he heard you.

He stopped squeezing your shoulders, winding his arms around your neck instead.  Avoiding the shame burning up his skin, he hid his nose in the crook of your neck.  

You tried to give him a little grace period, but your offer was entirely unwanted.  A few short seconds passed before his sharp canines were nipping at your collarbones, painfully hard leaking cock grinding against your still clothed thigh.

No words were exchanged, but the things that needed to be said were clearly communicated.

His neck was right in front of your waiting lips, tempting you really.  Before going back to stretching him open on your fingers, you laid an open mouthed kiss on his jawline, dripping with a sweet taste like honey. Still embarrassed, he bit back the whimper that threatened to spill forth from his lips.  

He let out a shaky sigh as he could feel your fingers start to hollow him out again.  Almost immediately you were jabbing at the little lump that was his prostate.  He keened, pressing back onto your fingers with shaky legs while he balled up his fists.  His long nails dug into his palms this time, leaving your shoulders unblemished.  You were particularly aware of the movement with the way the cold metal nipple piercings rubbed against the front of your torso.

If he was this excited you reasoned, he was most likely ready for a third finger.  Slowly, doing your best to be gentle, you finally added in the last finger.  He let out a little groan of discomfort, but ultimately didn't make any moves to stop you.

You continued to try your best to make him feel comfortable, gentle and slow as you could manage.  As another moan slipped past his lips, you curled your fingers against his insides for the last time before completely pulling your fingers out of him.

You didn't know how you could tell, but you could feel a brewing sense of frustration wafting off of Blade. Your suspicions were confirmed when he all but lunged for your belt buckle.

He fumbled with the leather for a moment before you grabbed his wrist, stammering, “Wait, wait-” You swallowed some spit to wet your dry throat, “We, We haven't said our vows yet.  We haven't officially been married.” 

The dragon situated on your lap didn't seem happy when he was stopped.  Instead, he hesitated to let go of your belt for a few long, awkward seconds before finally sitting back on his burning loins.

“Go on, quickly.”

He stressed the last word adamantly.  It was extremely clear the speed at which his patience waned. 

You swallowed more spit for a second, trying to rack your brain for the typical contents of wedding vows.  “I-”

He watched you expectantly, tufted tail whipping back and forth on the blankets expectantly. 

“For- For as long as I live, I swear to love and to cherish you as my wife,” the memories seemed to roll just out of reach, your inner monologue desperately grasping at straws, “With the lord as my witness, be it for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part I will fulfill my duty to you as a husband.  To protect and honor you until my final breath.”

You held your breath for a second, trying to think of anything you missed.  On the other hand, the oh-so “bashful” bride seated on your lap gave a straightforward nod.  The next second, his clawed fingers were flying towards your belt again.

Reflexively, you stopped him, only further agitating what little patience he had left.  “Wait!” 

“What is it now?”  His hands rested on your thighs, pointer finger tapping on your leg indignantly.  Despite the accusatory tone of his voice, it seemed his eyes were trained on what exactly was hidden underneath your hand.

“You…” you paused, “You haven't said your vows yet.” 

His brows furrowed, the first change in his expression the entire night.  He sighed, grip tightening as he did his best to ignore the aching weight of his erection on your leg. “Fine.”

He sat back on his thighs to restrain himself, pulling his grip to sit lower on your thighs. 

“As your wife, I swear to…” he paused, trying to recall your own vows, “love and cherish you for as long as I live.”  He took a deep breath, trying to figure out what else to say.  You had mentioned your duty as a husband, protecting and honoring him… what would his duties as a wife entail?  Well, there was the obvious.

“I will fulfill my duty to you as a wife, bearing your children, honoring, and protecting you.”

“...”

He reached forward experimentally, testing to see if his own vows had been satisfactory. 

You averted your gaze, moving your hand aside to give him full access to your belt buckle.

At this point in time, Blade was regretting his own lack of patience. 

His thighs clenched with the exertion, flexing and unflexing while he tried to relax and sink a little bit further onto your dick.  His breathing was labored, the flame of desire flickering and tickling at the bottom of his gut.  You weren’t faring much better, fists gathering up the sheets in a vice grip.  It took every fiber of determination in your body to not slam him down ass first onto your pelvis.  Your jaw was tight, only breathing heavy out of your nose.  You let out a particularly harsh breath the lower he managed to get.  He was barely halfway down and you were already starting to see sounds.   As a knight, you’d sworn yourself to abstinence your entire career.  Was this really what you had been missing out on this entire time?

Without any warning, Blade’s legs completely seized up.  His thighs squeezed together, clawed fingers suddenly scraping your skin.  He braced himself on your chest, leaning his torso forward so you’d catch him.  The change of angle didn’t seem to help him at all, a choked moan slipping out of his usually reserved lips the harder the tip of your dick prodded at his prostate. One of your hands moved from strangling the sheets to wrap snugly around his waist.  

Despite your compulsions, your arm stayed draped around his midsection without applying any pressure. The sensations were overwhelming, so overwhelming you were struggling to keep any noises from sliding out.  In the heat of the moment, you pushed yourself up from where you were leaning on your remaining arm to bury your face in the teal hair that framed his neck.  Nuzzling your nose into his collarbone, you stifled what would’ve been a pathetic whine against his bare skin. 

His hips nudged just a little bit lower, getting ever closer to bottoming out.  Unlike yourself, he didn’t feel the need to try and be quiet.  He pushed his neck up closer to your face, using a shaky hand to grasp the one you were still clutching the sheets with.  He groaned, pulling your wrist to guide it onto his waist.  You obliged him, fully cradling him between your large biceps.  In return, his hands made their way up and around your neck.  

They rested over your broad shoulders, still shaking when he finally managed to slide your dick in all the way to the hilt.  He was breathless, feeling like he couldn’t breathe with how much room you were taking up in his guts.  His core felt even hotter when you squeezed him tight in your arms, carving the imprint of your teeth into the side of his neck.  He exhaled a shaky moan, hand trailing up the back of your neck to tangle his fingers in your hair.  

In response, the clamp of your jaw drew tighter, a wave of heat surging over Blade’s entire body.  Even with your impromptu gag, the sounds you were making were only further fueling his instincts.  You huffed a raggedy breath through your nose, trying to hold back from bucking your hips up like an animal.  You were a gentleman, you wanted your receiving partner to be the one to set the pace for fear of hurting him.  

But you really were only human, and your blood was currently not rushing to your brain.  Your heels dug into the mattress with how hard you were trying not to move, so it definitely wasn’t that you weren’t holding it in.  But he was really warm and tight and sitting still was starting to get underwhelming and almost painful when you were this hard.  

Blade let out a surprised noise when you pulled him in impossibly tighter, followed up by a punched out gasp when your hips involuntarily jerked upwards.  Desperate at this point, you unlatched your teeth from the side of his neck, pressing feverish kisses up his jawline to his ear.  In the process, you really couldn’t afford to try and mute any of your noises.  Blade’s heart felt like it stopped when you whined directly in his ear.  Suddenly very aware of his own dick rubbing up against the defined muscles of your abs.  

You sounded like a kicked puppy when you whimpered into his ear, “Are you ready to move? Can I please move?” 

Even if he tried to deny it, it seemed he wanted to move just as much as you did when a thick bead of precum dripped down your stomach. 

Instead of immediately giving you the go ahead, though, he moved his arms from around your neck, grabbing at the hands wrapped around his waist.  Pressing them back against the makeshift mattress, you took it as the go ahead to move, thrusting up slowly to start. He let out a drawn out moan, before putting his hand on your stomach, “Wait, wait-” 

At this point, you could feel frustrated tears beginning to prick at the corners of your eyes but still, you stopped moving.  You let him press his other hand on your chest, flexing and unflexing your hands to try and keep yourself from busting like a teenage boy seeing a pair of tits for the first time.   You didn’t complain when he urged you to lay on your back, one of his hands bracing itself on your pecs, the other resting on the middle of your abdomen.  

Experimentally, he rolled his hips.  Instinctively, Blade bit down on his lower lip, feeling the delicious mix of pleasure and pain send an addictive shudder up his spine.  Without even thinking, he rolled his hips again to get another taste.  

And then another. 

And another. 

And another. 

And then he couldn’t stop moving his hips, chin tilted up with his mouth hanging open.  The movement was easy and the friction divine with the generous prep you’d done beforehand.  The generous amount of precum sprouting from the end of his drooling tip made his dick slide across your stomach with ease, only encouraging Blade to move his hips even faster in search of euphoria.  It really didn’t help his sanity when your large hands grappled his hips, serving to drag him up and down your length all while his legs seemed to grow weaker and weaker.  It also didn’t help that it looked like you were equally lost in the fervor. 

Saliva pooling in the back of your throat, you swallowed thickly when it seemed Blade’s arms gave out.  He slumped against your chest, navy hair covering the lower half of his face awkwardly.  Despite the harsh impact against your chest, you couldn’t seem to care less, finding a lot more frustration in the lack of movement.  He used a shaky hand to brush the hair out of his face, chasing after your lips with his own.  Before he could quite reach it, your hips seemed to develop a mind of their own, suddenly bucking up into his waiting insides. 

The kiss ended up being teeth first, canines clacking against canines before your lips ended up locking.  He let out a heavy groan when your hips still didn’t stop moving from behind.  Combined with the new pressure on his dick from all sides, his piercings were dragging up and down the dips of your stomach every time you moved. His eyes fluttered open when the two of you finally parted for air, high-pitched whines rhythmically pushed out of him the harder your thighs hit his ass.  

Drool trickled from the side of his mouth, leaking onto your shoulder before he tried to warn you, “Closer- agh~ really- mmmhmmnn close-”  He really wanted to hold back for the sake of finishing at the same time, but the feeling of you rearranging his guts just about had him crying like a baby.  

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, I’m gonna- Ouhhghh~”  

His talons broke the skin on your shoulders while his orgasm cut through him sharp and intense, an echoing squeal resounding through the room as sticky white cum shot out of his angry red tip onto both of your stomachs.  With the way he clamped down around you, you only lasted for a few more thrusts before you were cumming basically in unison.  You bit down hard on your bottom lip, tasting iron on your tongue. 

For a moment, the two of you lay in a sweaty pile of limbs.   Focused on breathing and recuperating your energy, you didn’t think to pull out.  Eventually though, you’d gone soft and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears wasn’t as loud as your thoughts anymore.  Slowly, you went to pull out so you could start clean-up–that’s what couples normally did, right?--but despite his numb legs, Blade pushed back onto your flaccid cock.  

Blearily, you looked up at him, blinking away the fatigue that crept in at the corners of your vision.  

“Did you think we were only going to have sex once?” 

What he said didn’t compute in your tired brain.  

“...huh?” 

He hummed, you could hear disappointment in his tone. 

“It’s customary for dragons to continue mating until pregnancy is guaranteed.”

"When you're pregnant, how exactly… will your body change?" 

For the sake of Blade’s back and legs, the two of  you decided a few rounds were enough to ensure he was actually pregnant.  He lay splayed out on the thick stack of blankets, having made it his favorite place in the den long prior.  He was on his stomach, resting his head on top of his crossed arms.  

“Why? Did you not expect it to?” 

You were a few feet away from him, sitting up cross-legged.  Despite the two of you having been fucking minutes prior, you were still a little shy about sitting completely naked in the open expanse of the cave.  For a bit of added modesty, you let your hands rest in your lap to cover up your dick at least a little bit. 

“It’s not that I didn’t...” Your neck dropped at the miniscule creep of shame across your face.  “I’m not versed in…”  You fumbled with your words for a moment, rocking back and forth in an effort to get your blood from your dick back up to your brain. 

“Pregnancy?” 

You lagged for a second before nodding in agreement.  “I haven’t spent much time around the women of the Xianzhou, usually it was with plants or other knights.” Your leg started bouncing when the air fell stagnant, “That isn’t to say I don’t know basic anatomy, it’s just… that I'm unfamiliar with some of the more intimate changes… not to mention, you’re also a man.” 

To this, Blade raised an accusatory brow.  “You say that as if you still don’t believe I can bear children.” 

You held your hands up in front of your chest defensively, “That isn’t what I’m saying at all!” 

Your partner let out a tired huff, not engaging in conversation further. 

“...”

“...”

“I’m…just worried I’ll fail to support you properly while you’re carrying our child.” 

Another silence hung, thickening into a kind of tension you couldn’t quite place your finger on.  

“...”

“...”

“...come here.” 

Immediately, you perked up.  

Dutifully, you shuffled over to where your spouse had beckoned you forward.  Watching him push up on tired arms and a strained back, you couldn’t help but admire the sheen of shiny sweat that gleamed in the warm firelight.  He always tended to show things better with actions rather than words, cuffing your wrist in one of his hands.   You let him guide your hand to rest on his stomach. 

“The most notable change will be weight gain.” 

Immediately, you fervently nodded your head, completely at attention.  

“The weight gain won’t just be my stomach,” he continued, “the rest of my body will start to swell.  Simple tasks like walking and bending over will become difficult, especially in the later stages of pregnancy.” 

You nodded a little bit slower. 

“Physical illness is also possible, but my ancestors didn’t struggle with it as commonly as other draconic lines.”  He positioned your hand at his hips, “During the first trimester, I’ll likely become more sensitive to smells.  That can cause symptoms like vomiting.” 

His grip eventually guided your hand to his back, all but tilting your body to drape over him.  “The added weight will stress the back.  I’ll be relying on you to do much of the heavy lifting.” 

You nodded again, even slower than the last time. 

Finally, he moved your hand to rest on his chest.  The rush of cold from the silver piercing sent a rush of red hot flame to your cheeks.  For the sake of paying attention to your pretty wife lecturing you about what would happen when he gets pregnant, you wrestled any nasty thoughts out of your mind. 

“Based on genetics, the chest will begin swelling around the end of the second trimester.” With the minimal amount of light in the room, you could just barely make out the pink hue on the usual impassive features of the man in front of you.  “I’ll be unusually sensitive, at times I could start lactating.” 

“...lactating?”

Suddenly, all your efforts to be a gentleman were forgotten.

You repeated it again, this time a little bit louder.  “Lactating?” 

Blade didn’t respond.

Unintentionally, your grip on his tit got a little bit tighter.  

He grunted, his own grip around your wrist tightening.  “How else would I feed the child?” 

This time, you didn't answer him. Your free hand was moving from your lap to tickle up his exposed side. 

The higher up his side your touch danced on his skin, the darker he could feel the flush on his cheeks.  Now, he was the one to avoid looking you in the eyes.  Even in his embarrassment, he didn’t stop you from pushing him to lay flat on his back.   He didn’t stop you when you kissed the underside of his jaw, he also didn’t stop you as you kissed a line down his jaw to his collarbones.  

Most importantly, he still didn’t stop you when your teeth clacked against one of his piercings.   

“How long will that take?” 

In this position, there were two things that seemed to jump out to Blade in particular. 

One, your breath was fanning hot against his chest and especially steamy over the nipple you were hovering over. 

Two, your hard-on was starting to leak on his leg. 

Much to your dismay his lips pressed into a tight line.  However, even in the face of a roadblock, you didn’t relent.  Experimentally, you licked a stripe up the exposed skin in between his pecs, drinking in the explosive shudder that ripped through his body.  

Trembling fingers all of sudden were tangled in your hair, unsure whether or not to push your head away or pull it in closer.   In the thick of it, you almost didn’t catch him muttering under his breath. 

“...pervert.” 

In retaliation, you tugged on one of the silver piercings with your teeth.   He let out a strained whimper, suddenly pulling your hair away from his chest.  You pinched the other nipple between two fingers, listening to the whine that was forced out of his throat.  Eventually, you relented with a lewd click of enamel against metal and the even lewder noise created by the spit accumulating on his skin.   “What was that?” 

Even if your sudden burst of confidence was out of the blue (and starting to make him nervous), Blade’s own pride didn’t allow him to take anything back. 

“Pervert.” 

You cupped his pecs with both hands, sitting up on your elbows to make a point.  “Ah, but last I checked you like this just as much as I do.”  To punctuate your statement,  you rutted against the inside of his thigh, all but pointing at his own excitement with your cock.  

He looked away, closing his eyes shut with furrowed eyebrows. 

An amused smile pulled at your features, suddenly emboldened by the surplus of blood rushing to your dick.  “So tell me, how long will it take until you start producing milk?” 

“...”

“...”

“...6 months.” 

You frowned, groping his chest with both hands.  Only a little groan managed to slip past Blade’s lips.  “Ah… are you sure?  Your chest already seems sensitive.” 

He nodded his head, still refusing to make eye contact.  

You rolled one of his nipples in your hand, positively ecstatic when his dick twitched in tandem.  “You’ll start lactating because you’re pregnant, right?” 

Thinking nothing of it, Blade gave a hum of affirmation.  

There was your opening.  “I think I should test to see if you’re actually pregnant then.” 

Before he could process your words, your lips were already suctioned around one of his nipples.  He bit down hard on his bottom lip, failing miserably to drown out the whine caught in the back of his throat. “That’s not- HnNg~” 

Obviously, you didn’t neglect the other one.  While your tongue laved over one, you pinched and pulled at the other with a pair of fingers.  You groaned when his claws started to dig into the back of your head, the tight pressure only serving to add another layer of intimacy to the moment.  He gave a particularly high-pitched whine when you started to thrust your cock against the inside of hip dip.  

“Mmhgn~ Wait- ahn~ Wait-” he pleaded. 

Insistently, you hooked your canines around the piercing and continued to suck on his chest. That was enough to have him rutting against your stomach.  At this point, you finally pulled off of his chest with what one would call “a shit-eating grin”.  

“Hm, nothing seemed to come out… maybe I’ll have better luck with the other one.”  

The hand he was using to grapple the sheets flew up to your shoulder, trying to push your head back, “That isn’t how it works!” 

Despite his complaints while you moved your head, they all seemed to get caught in his throat when your lips wrapped around his other nipple.  His chest shook with the effort it took to breath through his nose without letting out any more pathetic whimpers.   This time you got nasty with it. After a moment of suckling on his hardened bud until it turned a cherry red, you pulled back to spit on it.  

At the same time, you flicked his other piercing with two fingers.  Drool spilling past your lips at this point,  you watched with satisfaction as his head fell back against the comforter.  His thighs started to rub together as you flicked the nipple that wasn’t in your mouth again a little harder the second time around.  

Feeling a little extra mean, you locked your teeth on the soft skin before pinching the other abused nub hard.   He keened, nails scratching bloody lines into your upper back.  Ultimately, you took your mouth off of his chest in favor of starting to kiss up the center of his chest in between his tits.  

In between leaving sloppy wet kisses on his collarbones, you smiled, hands trailing back down to his sides before finally hooking the underside of his thighs.  You looped one of his shins over your shoulder, watching with glee the panic interlaced in the way he whipped his head around to look you in the eyes.  

You leaned over him, basically folding him in half to put a kiss on his lips.  

“Nothing’s coming out… I’m not really sure you’re pregnant yet.” 

You hooked his other thigh over your hip, blowing on his ear when your hand wrapped around your cock.  Alarmed, his hands braced themselves on your shoulder.  “What are you-”

You lined yourself up with his ass, biting on his earlobe.  “Well, I thought maybe we’d go a couple more rounds to really make sure you’re pregnant.”

there's a note attached to the side of the phone booth, read it?

" you guys have to promise not to make fun of me for writing this after making a bit about how much mpreg terrifies me "

to my dearest anon for whom this was written:

i hope you're doing better SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR MEDICINE

YOU BETTER KEEP TAKING UR MEDICINE OR I'M NOT GONNA START ON UR SHORT REQUEST AFTER THIS ONE

to everyone else:

mentioned briefly in my little posts between updates, it's been so long since I've written smut I had to like take a break after every other word to look over my shoulder and make sure nobody was reading it from behind me or something (I am home alone with two cats)

one of the most humbling experiences is going back and editing your own smut, like damn what position are they in I've gotta go back and write in more details 🏃

as of now, i'm planning on having my update schedule consist of a lot more short requests than long requests since they're going to be a lot easier to update consistently with

now that college has rolled in I have a lot less time to write the longer form content my audience loves me for so expect drabbles most of the time

i'm still planning book content but as of right now, I'm struggling with concepting and figuring out ideas that I can consistently stay motivated for

I might scrap the book I'm planning right now and go with something else in its entirety, but we shall see

a big thank you to all the lovely supporters who have stayed by my side through my inactivity, you will be rewarded one day when I graduate promise

love all of you, also love blades titties <3

incoming shameless plug: if you guys were wondering about my next follower goal (238/300) follow for clear skin and part 3 ayato fic (mpreg edition)

[kisseobie]

jasmine

pairing: non idol jongseob x fem!reader

genre: fluff

a saccharine summer evening spent at your favorite nail parlor is so much sweeter when you’re accompanied by a boy made out of star-shaped tangerines 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

tags: established relationship, reader is slightly anxious, the sweetest boyfie seob, reader is sooo girly, slightly suggestive if you squint, jongseob thinks ur the prettiest girl in the world, usage of petnames (baby, princess, etc..), yall are so in love it’s sick, no smut in this but mdni pls

a/n: haiii everyone ^_^ so i haven’t written self inserts in years but i desperately crave more jongseob fics (as u can see from my last post lol) sooooo here i am!! this is very self indulgent but if i like how this goes i mighttttt start taking piwon requests :p please be kind as i haven’t written in a veryyyy long time… anyways enjoy 𓇼⋆｡˚

listening to: jasmine - dpr live ♪

“they have to soak off my previous set before they get started so you really don’t have to stay with me here if you don’t want to seob.. it’s gonna be 2 hours at least.”

you shyly inform him as you begin to retrieve your phone from your back pocket to search for your appointment confirmation email as the pair of you come to a gentle halt in front of the entrance of your favorite nail salon. you pause before entering, turning to face towards him as the salty breeze of the nearby boardwalk cards through jongseob’s copper colored hair, a sight that makes you swoon. “you sure you won’t be bored?” you ask shyly, and jongseob gives you a toothy grin in return, eyes crinkling softly as he tilts his head towards the sliding doors of the salon, a sweet and silent reply to your hesitance that speaks, “i’m never bored when i’m with you”. he slowly lifts his hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear and kisses your cheek, all whilst interlacing his fingers with your slightly smaller ones as you both make your way into the salon.

you somehow find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

it’s been just short of a year since kim jongseob first approached you, fidgeting with the fabric of his favorite hoodie and swaying back and forth on his heels to ease his nerves as he asked you for your number. the sweet boy expected for you to kindly let him down (partly because you had never spoken to him a day in your life, and partly because of the gorillaz logo on his apparel), but to his astonishment, you simply punched your number into his keypad, and one text reading: “hi :)” led to a plethora of late night conversations, hushed giggles shared in his bedroom, and coffee flavored kisses in the mornings (much to his roomates’ dismay).

he’s wearing that same hoodie this evening too.

the domesticity of your blooming relationship is new, but never unwelcome, so it didn’t surprise you when he asked to accompany you when you were cuddled up with him a few nights ago, haphazardly mentioning that you were planning to get a new set of acrylics soon. seob had been paying for your previous sets despite your constant disapproval, but this was his first time going with you to a booking, and it felt oddly intimate, like you were starting to enter a more serious stage of your relationship.

jongseob’s reassurance allows you to let go of your irrational fear of him dying of boredom during your appointment, and with that, you two carry onto your seven o’clock session.

“girl, that’s your man? that’s the one you were telling me about?”

are the first words that leave your nail tech’s lips as as you settle down into her usual station, setting your purse to the side, straightening your jean skirt, and adjusting your bra strap as you question the surprise written all over her face. you had spent countless of sessions with her discussing your relationship with jongseob, her even being there for the details of your distant crush on him prior to you being asked out. always the persistent type, she had been practically begging for you to bring him around these last few appointments, mentioning something about “taking a good look” at the boy who had swiftly stolen your heart.

your tech must have noticed the slight blush of embarrassment appearing on your cheeks, because she jumped to clarifying her previous statement with, “i don’t mean that in a bad way babe! he’s definitely very attractive, i was just surprised you were so shy in approaching him is all.” at these words you tilted your head a bit, only more confused about the implications of what she was attempting to tell you.

“y/n, he was staring at you the entire time you were checking in like he’d hang the stars and moon for you if you’d ask. he had that dopey lovesick look and everything. he’s obviously smitten, you have literally nothing to worry about.” she relays to you with amusement as she dips your fingertips in acetone.

you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in and quietly giggle. “really? okay i’m really glad you said that, he’s been so sweet to pay for all of my sets without me even asking him to and i was just so worried that he’d hate me forever if he got bored sitting here. i think i’m just not used to doing simple chores with him rather than elaborately planned dates” you whisper to her. you then take a peek at your boyfriend’s comfortable form lounging on one of the hot pink seats of the salon, his nintendo switch clad in one hand, and his cheek pressing against the other. you notice he only has his left airpod in, just in case you needed to call for him. your heart melts at the sight, and you finally turn your full attention back to your tech, now removing your old set of nails.

as you wait patiently in your chair you begin to lightly sway your head to the song playing on a distant salon speaker, one that your boyfriend coincidentally has on repeat each time your with him nowadays. “it’s called jasmine, it reminds me of you.” is what you remember him telling you one morning, when you woke up for the first time in his bed, wired headphones connecting you both as the dpr live track overtook the cozy atmosphere.

every now and then you and seob glance at each other from across the salon, to which you both begin breaking out into big smiles and rosy cheeks. your nail technician carries on with replicating the reference nails you showed her to a T, but not without silently noting the heart eyes you and jongseob shoot at each other everytime your eyes happen to lock. this time, he mischievously motions for you to glance at your phone, a quiet “ding!” from your cell grasping both you and your tech’s attention.

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: you look so pretty right now baby, i’m so excited to feel your nails in my hair later lol

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: and maybe scratching my back too ;)

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: omg that was so embarrassing im so sorry please look away plead im so bad at this fuck

you look away from your screen embarrassingly fast, flustered and avoiding any eye contact with both your loser boyfriend (who is wallowing in his own embarrassment) and the woman now raising her eyebrows in front of you as she waits for your nails to cure under the uv lamp.

she is so making fun of you for that next time.

“andddd we’re done! just go wash your hands and your boyfriend can pay at the desk. he looks like he’s gonna flip if he isn’t holding you in some way in the next two minutes and i really don’t need to witness that.” she exclaims, not without exaggeratedly rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

you begin to fully assess your fresh new set of acrylics, now topped off with a sparkly clear coat. your nail tech even added some oil to your cuticles to try and make up for months of self-inflicted damage. after a minute of observing, you hum in approval, deducing happily that your boyfriend is going to love the colors you chose: tangerine with hints of cherry red to subtly match with his hair.

“perfect, just like always. thank you so much!” you say while handing her a generous tip, to which she holds out her hand in refusal and shakes her head. “no tip today, just go spend some time with him, i’m so happy for you y/n, seriously.” she replies kindly. you give her a hug to say thanks and tuck the cash back into your purse, turning and making your way towards the chair your boyfriend is currently occupying as he watches you with a warm smile, hands crossed in front of his chest as he holds back a laugh.

“what’s so funny?” you question as you approach him slowly.

“i called her beforehand and sent her a tip for you, i knew you were gonna try to pay somehow.” he giggles as he stands up. you scoff, but deep down you know you should have known he would outsmart you like this.

“i can’t believe you! i’ve told you a hundred times before that i don’t want you to spend your money on me!” you try to reason with him, to which he cuts your frustration off with a simple “who’s going to take care of you then, princess? now show me your nails!” he says as he hovers his hands in front of him, a signal for you to follow suit so he can observe the result of the previous two hours of work.

you decide to drop the subject for now and let excitement take over once again at his request, bouncing up and down whilst placing your hands atop of his palms, not allowing him to speak before you explain that “they match your hair, see? i asked her to do orange and red ombre!! and i know you love stars so i also asked her to add little golden star studs on my pinky nails! what do you think babe?” you half squeal out at him, clearly awaiting his approval.

“you did this for me?” he asks.

you deflate a little, dreading the small chance that your next words will result in an underwhleming reaction from him. “well yeah, sorry if it’s weird, i just wanted to do something nice since you offered to accompany me even though you would just be sitting in your chair for two hou—” he cuts off your anxious rambling with a strong kiss to your lips, followed by both of his palms covering the sides of your face to pull you impossibly closer. you gasp from the sudden movement, and just as you close your eyes to reciprocate, your boyfriend pulls back to show you the prettiest smile you have ever seen on his face.

“i guess you like them.” you sheepishly respond, holding back a smile equally as large.

he just replies by peppering your tanned skin with tangerine flavored kisses, each peck accompanied with the words “i love you, i love you so much”.

you and jongseob finally step out of the salon hand in hand, the cool air blowing onto your faces as you squeeze your interlocked fingers. jongseob presses on the pedestrian call button with one hand as you both anticipate the streetlamp to shift to green. you fill the comfortable silence with giggles and the occasional kiss to the cheek the entire commute to the subway, uncaring of prolonged glances from onlookers. words are only spoken an hour later when you’ve finally enter the warmth of his (and practically your) bedroom. jongseob turns towards you this time, clearly not as timid as he was hours before, smirking while pronouncing,

“in case you were still wondering, that offer from my text earlier still stands…”

it’s your turn to roll your eyes and shut him up, tugging him roughly towards you with the front of his stupid hoodie as your mouths connect with an urgency you’ve never felt before, the pair of you hurriedly falling on top of his bed as your nails make contact with his scalp.

𓇼⋆｡˚

in the quiet of the night, considered by some as early hours of the morning, jongseob holds your bare frame tightly against his own as he strokes his hand along your freckled back. your warm breaths tuck into the small crevices of his chest as your tangerine tinted nails draw hearts lightly into his skin, and with that, the two of you gradually lull into a peaceful slumber, but not before you look up at him and whisper,

“i did it for you.”

a/n: mwahahahahahahahaha it’s finally out.. thank u for being patient!! it was honestly so motivating to see that despite the fact that so many people had never read my writing before, their love for jongseob made them crave this fic soooo much LMFAOO we all are so down bad for this man it’s a bit insane. anyways like i said i haven’t written for years so this was short and a little choppy but i tried my best and hopefully i’ll get better with time ^_^ anyways i’ll be finishing up my next fic soon and then i’ll start working on requests!! thank u for reading, it means a lot to me <3

please do not repost my writing!

tags:

@chuuswifereal @angelcbf @lakoya @zendieya-8 @bambispostsblog @saturnh0ney @theyluvsosa @youresolivlie @woozixo @www90kitsch @sirenla @ihatewreckingballmains @curiousgworge @haileyyey @khfviq @highkeyadumbasslmao @lovebunnys-world @astro-doll-the-star @kyokopi @meowmeowjang @imma-penguin1 @sophia-is-tiny

ᥫ᭡

[savventeen]

you say the stupidest (sweetest) things

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3

From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]

yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science

Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.

To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.

Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.

He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.

“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“

“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”

The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.

He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”

“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”

His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.

Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.

“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”

Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”

“So. Where're we at this time?”

He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.

“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”

“Aish.”

The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.

“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”

“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.

“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”

“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”

He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”

“No, it isn't.”

Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.

“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”

A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”

He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”

“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.

“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."

You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.

“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”

“...”

“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.

“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.

“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”

“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”

“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”

Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”

“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”

Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”

“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”

Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”

“Booooooo, you whore.”

He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.

Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.

A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.

Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.

But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.

Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.

how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh

He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.

But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.

Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.

Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.

You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.

The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.

Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.

Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.

You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.

Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.

And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.

It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.

With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.

Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.

And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.

For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.

Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.

You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."

He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."

“Yep!”

You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.

The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.

Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.

💤 💤 💤 💤 💤

It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.

Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.

It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.

He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.

And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.

Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.

Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.

"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"

He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.

"Am— am I okay? No??"

Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"

Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.

"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"

Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"

"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?

Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.

"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"

He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"

Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"

"What you just said."

You blink. "...that I'm confused?"

He shakes his head. "No, before that."

You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"

"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.

That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.

He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””

Oh.

You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"

He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"

And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."

Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.

You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."

"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"

"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"

"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.

"Oh my god!"

He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.

This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.

But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.

And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.

You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"

This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.

When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.

"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"

Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.

"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"

Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"

"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"

"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."

And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.

He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.

And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"

"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."

Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"

He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.

"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.

"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."

You blink at him.

"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”

He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”

You snort.

“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”

"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.

“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”

Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.

The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.

[acepalindrome]

SDV Aesthetic Mod Recommendations (1.6 Edition!)

I’m back with more mod recommendations that work with 1.6! This time, we’re gonna focus on stuff that mainly just changes how things look: recolors, portraits, animal skins, etc. No major gameplay changes, but the visual changes can really enhance the experience or make the game feel totally different! Again, links will be in a reblog. And you can check my ‘sdv mods’ tag for my other recommendation post!

So starting off, recolors. I have three that I really love: Vibrant Pastoral Recolor, DaisyNiko’s Earthy Recolor, and Starblue Valley.

They all tone down the saturation and give everything a softer, more natural look. Vibrant Pastoral is probably my favorite because it makes the scythe-able grass look like it’s full of wildflowers! Also of note, Starblue Valley’s 1.6 update is a work in progress, so some parts might not be properly recolored. It’s such a pretty recolor, but you might want to just track the mod for now while they’re hammering out the kinks.

Next up, portraits! First, I wanna talk about Seasonal Outfits.

I love that vanilla has beach and winter outfits now, and this mod takes that ten times further! Not only are there outfits for every season (with matching sprites), there are also unique outfits for festivals! I love all the Halloween costumes for Spirits Eve! There are seasonal mods for Stardew Valley Expanded and Ridgeside Village too!

Next, Nyapu’s Portraits.

I love the cute, old school Harvest Moon vibe these have, but one of the really great things is that Nyapu has made portraits for almost every modded character in existence. I’m fussy about getting my portraits to match, because it’s just weird when you’ve got totally different art styles for different characters, and that is a non-issue with this collection! If there’s a character mod, there is probably a Nyapu portrait. SVE and RSV are just the tip of the iceberg! Also Nyapu is a real life farmer when they aren’t making adorable portraits, which I think is just cool!

I made a post earlier about Elle’s Cuter Coop Animals/Barn Animals/Cats/Dogs/Horses, but it’s worth mentioning again because they’re just too cute and the huge variety of different colors and species is unmatched.

And I mean. Highland cows. Just look at them. Elle also has mods for seasonal farm buildings and farmhouse kitchens with lots of different options! You really can’t go wrong with any of Elle’s mods.

And speaking of farm buildings, one of my absolute favorites is Gwen’s Medieval Buildings, and matching mod, Gwen’s Medieval Craftables.

The antique, overgrown vibes are just gorgeous.

If I do UI recolors, I usually just pick one that matches my recolor (Vibrant Pastoral, Earthy Recolor, etc) but I recently discovered Lavender Dreams UI Recolor and I adore it.

The colors are just so nice and soft, and the accents of moss and leaves in the menu is just delightful.

I’m on mobile and running out of pictures, so I’ll just talk about the next three that change your character. First is Female Farmer Overhaul. Despite the name, everything is available to any gender, although the style is definitely more feminine. It adds a lot of new hairstyles, clothes, hats, and has the option of short or long sleeves so you’re dressed appropriately for the season!

Next is Animated Hair. It makes your hair move as you run, use tools and so on. There are lots of hairstyles and it just looks so nice!

And one last one, Expressive Elf Ears. Like Animated Hair, they move around with your character! They are so floppy! If you want a little fantasy flavor to your character, they’re a must.

And that’s all for now! I might do content adding mods next time!

[fluffle-writes]

Yuu: So what kind of eye flavor do you have?

Malleus: That is, so wrong. Yet I’m intrigued by what you asked little friend.

Would the others outside Heartslabyul have eye flavors?

Also where is their mouth how do they eat? Is the flame that is inside the lamp in malleus head like a mouth? Incinerating everything he puts in?

Does the eye of the Heartslabyul residents double as one?

Weirdcore AU Masterlist Here!

Ooh, cool questions! I'm probably gonna get rambly as I answer them - worldbuilding is fun! Now, let's see...

I don't think many of the guys have features that stand out as being edible for Yuu - I feel like the eye flavours work best for Heartslabyul since it's like how flowers have nectar... Perhaps they can catch prey like that... Yuu is not beating the prey allegations (Leona would probably call them 'prey' instead of Herbivore lmao)

Epel has his apples as I talked about here, and the eye goop was elaborated on in this post, but until something stands out to me, I can't really pin anything down.

I suppose, if I give Azul tentacles, I could say that he can regrow them if they're cut off! These tentacles, when cooked, have a somewhat rich, meaty flavour with an underlying taste of ink. Depending on his emotional state when the tentacles are removed, they can either taste juicy and succulent (good emotional state) or somewhat acrid with the inky flavour overwhelming the taste of the dish (bad emotional state)

Now, as for how these guys eat, I feel like it's not so much 'eating' as it is 'absorbing energy' - and there's many different methods that they can use to sap their food (or their prey) of life-energy. I'll elaborate on a few here!

Quick CW Since this got pretty dark!

The following text contains: Mentions of hunting, Mentions of death (specified as slow + painful), potential vaguely implied cannibalism - please ask me to tag anything else that you believe I may have missed!

Oral Consumption

Utilised by anyone with a mouth! So, Ruggie (who has tail mouths like Mawile, and a head that opens up like a Demogorgon), Lilia, Rook, and Grim would all be able to use this method! They just sorta chow down - those with stronger jaws may even snack on things typically perceived as inedible to absorb some latent energy to keep themselves running if they're hungry enough.

Root Growth

This is often used by beings like the Heartslabyul guys and perhaps even Epel - who all have plant-like features. They can hold their food in their hands and grow roots into the food to sap it of nutrients! There is a particularly gruesome hunting strategy that some may use, where they grow these roots into the body of their prey without killing it - leading to a slow and painful death for the poor thing.

Burning

Malleus and Lilia can use this method! As you guessed, Malleus can burn through food to release its energy to be consumed! The flames they have are maintained by their life energy - which is why Malleus has so many - and cannot be put out by normal means. (This means that they're safe in water and strong winds!)

Technology

This method isn't often used - but Idia has sensory problems with his teeth and opts to use his more technological features to make eating more palatable for himself. He uses various machines to transform food into code and energy and loads it into his body using ports on his head - he may even consume the memories of prey that he's bought or captured for a more filling meal, using a headset he designed himself.

[kanerallels]

bestie!! Can you tell me about your book, Land of Tales? I may have just stalked the tag for a solid forty minutes and I’m dying to know more (I LOVE me some good fairytale retellings)

BESTIE I LOVE YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS ASK I'm so so honored?? Thank you so much!! (also same we love fairy tale retellings they're amazing)

OKAY SO! I'm gonna give you a brief overview of the book in case you didn't see what it's about, then I'll do some fun facts because I deserve it as a treat and I'm hyperfixating on my own book series right now (and also Valiant. Minor detail. LET'S MOVE ON)

The main plot: My girl Rebecca Wood lives on Earth, but never knew her parents. She discovers at the beginning of the book that she, and the family she never knew, is from the fairy tale world, and so she goes there with the help of this socially awkward cinnamon roll, Liam. We love Liam, and we feel bad about the amount of Horrors I put him through, including but not limited to social interactions and torture

The rest of the book is basically Rebecca and Liam's travels through Avena (fairy tale world) meeting fairy tale characters and evading the evil Empress Goldilocks (who has magic plants and fairy tale princesses for assassins). And there are more books. Or there will be. Four overall in the main series, two prequels, umm... *pauses to count* okay yeah there are a lot of stories post canon. And I've already written a handful of short stories for fun and profit!

And now it's fun facts about some of the characters time:

Cinderella is, as mentioned, an assassin! She has fabulous fashion taste, glass shoes that can morph into any shoe type she wants, and is incredibly sadistic. Her husband Gavin is what would happen if Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, Schimdt from New Girl, and Oscar from The Rookie were fused into one incredibly vain, lazy person who wore a lot of capes

Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk is a pirate (occasionally of the sky). He's married to a future seer who basically tricked him into taking her hostage the first time they met, and has two kids. They are utter gremlins and we love them

Alec and Risha, who I've been talking about lately, are from Camelot. Risha's dad is Sir Gareth, aka Gawain's cool brother. In my series, the people of Camelot have Australian accents because why not?

OH MY GOSH I JUST THOUGHT OF A CHARACTER I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT ON HERE okay his name is Bob. It's short for uhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm gonna be straight with y'all I don't remember his full name. It's really long. But he's the Magic Mirror from Snow White! He's a cursed prince who likes shipping his best friend with her love interest, and boba tea (if it exists in this universe. I shall ponder this) and he's just a little chaos gremlin and I would die for him

Somehow, every single ship in this series is enemies to lovers (except Alec and Risha, slow burn friends to idiots in love my beloved) and it's really funny to me. They're all different flavors of enemies to lovers, too. We've got "coworkers who annoy the crap out of each other to lovers", "I tried to kill your friends that one time and am involved in the organization that killed your brother but now we're working together and technically I'm engaged but it's a engagement of convenience and we're connecting to lovers", and one of my personal favorites, "you forced me to take you hostage that one time and now I'm stuck with you which is really annoying to lovers". There are, believe it or not, others

One more fun fact for the road: I have a book planned that's set after the series, and it's a combination of no less than three fairy tales at once. Possibly more, for all I know

Oh, and actually last of all! The first book in the series, which I shall not reveal the title of just yet because DRAMA, is finished! All polished up and shiny, and I'm currently looking into publishing options and cover artists! (also my girl a.spice is doing illustrations I can't wait for you guys to see them they're incredible)

[acearcane]

Hell yeah, now that I’ve achieved ultimate boops, it’s time to pause and make a little post inspired by the ones @kittiwittebane and @willowsz-plants did.

I’ve only been on Tumblr for a few months, and already it’s been a lifesaver because I’ve met so many cool people who like the same things I like!! It’s great!! But that being said, there’s a few special moots who mean extra to me…

@lunar-jewels Literally my favorite person on this silly hellsite. The amount of chaos she and I have gotten up to is amazing… the headcanons we’ve procured… the memories will last a life time 😌✨ Plus, she’s my extra super cool beta reader, and QKD would be in deep shit without her!

@childlikegoblinqueen I’m sorry, but I’m with Katta; you’re hella cool. I get it I get it, you’re just some average joe, but when new-TOH-fan me, who had just binged SCOM, saw that you were my mutual, it was like the coolest thing ever.

@seafoamwolf Cousin. 🫵😐 But also the bestest person everrrr, and don’t you forget it!! Let us all remember her inspiring words when I came out to her… “Hell yeah, be gay do crime!” And so I shall… so I shall.

@yourlocalbimexican You may be a newer moot, but now not only are we both a part of the Veezine, but you always leave the best comments on QKD and it means a lot. Thanks for making this silly person in your device happy!! 🫡

@kittiwittebane Boop. But also you gave me a good laugh last night, and seriously, thank you for that!! It helped ward off the Monday blues. So anyway, we’re gonna be best friends now /lh /nf

@unniebeans We don’t interact much outside of tags or the occasional reblog, but you have a great vibe, and your posts usually make me laugh. Also, I’m usually not one for the spicier flavors, but your fics… 😏 that’s good shit there.

Honorable mentions to @oh-cramity-its-amity for being the coolest and letting me spam boop them, and @coffee-n-sleep for always saying “mate” in his comments on QKD. I read them and go, “Hell yeah, someone called me mate!” Don’t ask me why. It’s just cool.

Now this isn’t to say all my other moots and followers aren’t important. I smile every time I see any sort of like, comment, reblog, or ask. And actually, I’m 99% sure there’s someone I’m forgetting right now. I love you guys, and I hope you have an absolutely lovely day!!

[crystal-va]

A buncha random things about Disturbed!

Tag? - Deal doesn't call him "Disturbed" He calls him Tag, short for shadow tag

He's typically used to track certain people Deal wants to keep an eye on a.k.a he "tags" them with his fire

How!? - His fire is extremely controllable. He can control the temperature and size of the flames almost limitlessly (obviously he can's make it hotter or colder than he can physically handle, without instantly freezing or turning to ash). He is completely aware of the exact distance of his flames witch is how he tracks people

Why does he have fire in the first place? - He got fire when he started unwillingly working with Deal (I covered this in his original post here)

Disturbed has only one friend (currently, defiantly gonna change) and that is Chirp by @teacupz5 (Ref sheet) currently the exact circumstances of their friendship is unknown but should hopefully be figured out fairly soon (I actually have no idea lol I'm just saying that)

Disturbed loves crows, he finds the dark, almost evil, but also beautiful at the same time

his favorite flavor of, like, anything is Grape, and his least favorite is Cherry

He has a habit of putting his hood up in response to extreme emotions, (anger, sadness, etc) and when he enters and fight

now a more... odd fact, his tongue is Lavender colored, y'know, just in case that's ever relevant...

Relations? - As I mentioned before, he's friends with Chirp. He knows of Rootkits, but tries to avoid him because of Root's ability to see straight through people and learn everything about them extremely easily (that fact makes him uncomfortable). Dealmaker is Disturbed's "boss". Deal completely owns Disturbed's soul and can control basically everything he does if he chooses. Disturbed has interacted with Shattered Dream before because of Deal. He finds Shattered a disgusting excuse for a self-proclaimed "God of the Broken" (This is just something for my version of Shattered). In short, Disturbed can't stand him, almost as much as he can't stand his boss. He hasn't interacted with the Murder Time Trio or Nightmare much outside of fighting them on a few occasions (not alone, he'd die), But from what he's gathered about them, he just can't understand them, he knows he doesn't like them, but sometimes he sees them acting like any other being in the multiverse and just doesn't understand how they switch up so much.

I honestly just wanted to ramble about Disturbed for a minuet, so here we are :)

If you wanna send asks about disturbed, send them to @ask-voidverse

Credits:

Disturbed, Dealmaker, and Rootkits - Me

Chirp - @teacupz5

Shattered Dream - @galacii-gallery

Nightmare - @jokublog

Murder Time Trio:

Dust - @ask-dusttale

Horror - @sour-apple-studios

Killer - @rahafwabas

[comeandgetemmmmmmm]

intro of sorts !! (i just want to find people who share interests with me)

hhi guys so. i only made this account to look for tower galactica content and theres like 2 posts but hey i have a tumblr now. u might know me as em on discord!! yyea. im just gonna list stuff about me

transmasc neurodivergent probably gay minor. pronouns r he/they

other names: grey, vailo, kaleo/kale, rainer, eira/ira, celo

i like to draw digitally, write, roleplay, and make scenarios in my head like. a lot but never make them real (like drawing comics of my ocs)

i have a lack of motivation and short-term memory, but it’s getting better!!!

fandoms i’m in (just the roblox ones cause thats all i care about)

tower galactica

flavor frenzy

defend the train

dandy’s world

phighting!

block tales

dummies vs noobs

sharkco

case file 1225

and some other games i play that i didnt mention or dont engage with the fandom a lot. idk

i don’t rlly know what i’ll post on here but….tower galactica fans wy@!!! (tags are to hopefully reach the people in those fandoms)

[flymmsy]

On Repeat Playlist Tag Game

Rules: Shuffle your repeat playlist 10 times and tag 10 people. Tagged by @say-lene! :)

I’m about to be exposed for my terrible taste in music so here goes. To make this more fun for y’all - under each song I will give my Durgetash-flavored assessment, even for songs which absolutely do not fit at all.

Tagging: @defira85 @memaidraws @asteriasfallingstarsandtears @laubritter @neko-rhapsodos @sleepykitty21 @durgeteriormotives @jellymellydraws @abyssalaerlocke (y’all might’ve already been tagged sorry if so!!)

9/10 starting strong. I actually think this fits Durgetash quite well especially with Gortash's built-myself-from-nothing narrative.

7/10 durgetash rating - this is kind of like the song that they both wish they could feel about each other. Like "yea I wanna be the dude who can kiss you all sweet but if we don't rip each other apart in bed Im gonna get lobotomized so"

Oh man I hate that this is here and I'm really not big on Shawn Mendes because he's a little too bubblegum for me but this song is catchy. 8/10 Durgetash rating due to the lyrics - a dark cover of this song would fit durgetash perfectly. Its essentially "I can't believe my murder girlfriend keeps dragging me into the sewers but damn she's hot"

11/10 Durgetash rating. 10/10 for the lyrics and +1 because Enver Gortash loves Panic! At The Disco.

So yea I'm a musical fan and yes this is a durgetash song for me. Let me sell you on the vision first. Durge gets lobotomized and Orin tells Enver and he immediately wants to blow the whole plan to shit because the love of his life is gone but then the whole ass Church of Bane is like nah just like drink her away my guy and so the Banites Party Hard (tm) and Enver is like fine I'll stick with the plan but he's dead inside. 10/10

10000/10 Durgetash rating. My sister Orin says 'Oh she's just being bhaalspawn.' (is this the most embarrassing song that could ever come up? you betcha.)

This is definitely The Vibe for them. 10/10 just Durgetash being nasty. Check yourself for whiplash from the last one.

I wanted to say like 5/10 but "I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you" got me like hmmmm. Also "he looks up grinning like a devil." hmmmmmm. So I'll give it a 9/10 under one condition: default Dragonborn Durge would have to be in the music video for this in a white frilly dress.

This could probably really fit some people's Durges but it doesn't fit my idea of Durge so I'm only gonna give it a 2/10 durgetash rating. However? Orin could rock the shit out of this vibe. 10/10 Orin song.

15/10 Durgetash song. Hot as fuck, could fit both pre and post tadpole. Even mentions a priest. Strong ending.

That's all folks!

[obscurushydrae]

Rules of Play

Please at least give it a read! Liking this post also means it’s more likely I will follow back, as I know you have RAU’d.

Updated 08/19/2024

ABOUT:

Kar/Karmun/Karthonic either-or. If you'd rather separate mun/muse you can use my middle name, Asher to refer to me.

They/Them is cool.

From New York, so the timezone is EST.

Birthday’s January 1990, so 30+

Spoonie with AuDHD

Artist, and educator, so I can get busy. I commute, so I'm on the train for a few hours a day as well and can be sporadic activity wise.

On mobile most of the time.

I left the Tumblr RPC 4 years ago so forgive me as I catch up with the new etiquette, etc.

Personal blog @karthonic.

Sci-Fi Muse: @stellevatum

ARK AU: @sidisaspecto & @hln-4

GENERAL:

Above all else: Be Excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

First and foremost: my activity is sporadic. I refuse to let myself be like I was when I left the RPC in 2019. I may queue a lot of shit. I may go into a black hole for a few weeks or months. I may forget threads or lose them. It doesn't mean I don't care-- I am here to have fun and not get stressed over things.

If you ever want to reach out-- all my blogs and personal are listed above, and my discord is on request to mutuals, even though I'm just as much a cryptid on there as well.

Lurking for a bit before reaching out is fine, but I would like genuinely interested folks. Optional but I have an Interest Tracker for organization purposes.

Communication is key. My muse might be intimidating, but I'm not-- just very busy and on mobile more often than not. Don’t know something, or want me to elaborate: ask! I forgot a reply or not feeling a thing anymore, lemme know. I'm good. I like get to know the people I write with, it makes me plot things better.

This incarnation Kar is for Contemporary Supernatural/Fantasy/Mythology like verses. You can find the Og/Sci-Fi flavored Kar at @stellevatum.

While she's BPRD based,  don’t sweat it if you don’t know the other stuff. If your fandom/verse has a way in, I can finagle her into all sorts of place (she's literally an cosmic horror at heart).

That ‘selective’ part comes into play. I have every right to not follow someone, decline a roleplay, just as you do. Just be polite and respectful.

Crossover/AU/Multiverse/Self Insert friendly. Not your thing, then feel free to not follow.

There will be casual mentions of recreational drug use, more often than not mentions of alcohol than drugs, but will be tagged upon request. Other possible triggers are her fatalistic humor. 

This is not a content resource blog. If you’re here for the pretty pictures, aesthetics, or memes, this is not the blog for you.

Godmoding is discouraged but I’m not going to stop it. I will likely try to out ridiculous you Bugs Bunny style. Even though she can’t die, you’re free to try and kill her, but let me know first (either way she’s gonna be pissed FYI).

Most art is mine but will be credited. If I reblog any art reposted without the original creator’s permission, let me know. I’ll remove it.

FOLLOWING/UNFOLLOWING:

Please don’t follow/interact if you’re under 18. If I follow anyone underage, it’s because I wasn’t able to access any about/ooc information, please don’t take it personally if I unfollow!

If I don’t follow you and you follow me, please just hit me up before doing something. Just because I don’t follow means I’m not interested, I just don’t think our characters mesh with the information given. If we chat about it, who knows!

If I follow you or like a post but not follow, it's likely because I want to check out your rules but can't find a mobile friendly/need time to look through things, especially if it's a carrd. If you follow back, I'll message/send passwords as I don't want to overstep.

I don’t usually greet/interact with personal blogs, so side blogs off personals give me a heads up. Otherwise, I might miss you.

I may unfollow or softblock-- but that doesn't mean I am not against second chances. It usually mean either we haven't really done anything and I'm keeping my dash tidy or you never followed back so I'm taking the hint and stepping off, or you were inactive for 6+ month and I assume you abandoned the blog.

If you'd prefer I don't accidentally re-follow, you are free to hardblock. It's a bummer, but we need to what makes each of us comfortable to write. I will only hardblock if it is in your rules or if it was something serious that warrants it.

IN CHARACTER:

Compatible Fandoms (ie I am Familiar with): BPRD/Hellboy, Hades, Devil May Cry, Wolfenstein, Gravity Falls, WTNV, Obey Me!, Sandman, Good Omens, Hellsing, Persona, Durarara!!, Castlevania, Blood of Zeus, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Basically anything with demons/angels/gods and the like. I will interact with Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss muses, even though personally I don't vibe with Viv.

Kar is an ancient cosmic horror who was supposed to destroy all reality. Raised by mortals, so she thought she was. But she's also got other forms, which folks may see.

As for appearance, unless you’re really looking you might notice the fangs. And for the most part, assume she’s wearing her signature sunglasses covering her eyes since those rarely are taken off in public.

While not usually brought up, but Kar has attempted to end her life and self-harmed. Nowadays it’s usually just masked with fatalistic humor, recreational drug use, and lots of drinking. 

There will be mentions of Nazis particularly of the occult sort, so if that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to step away.

ASKS:

Askbox will only be open for IC interactions, save for when the meme specifies Mun. IMs are for OOC communication. Anon feature is for sideblogs, multimuses to interact ICly with me. Any Anon messages good or bad directed to the Mun (outside of memes) will be ignored. The Anon feature is privilege, I will revoke it for my well-being if need be.

No Magic Anons, please!

There’s no need to wait to send me a meme if you’ve followed me for 5 minutes or 5 months, send the thing.

Reblog Karma is going to be enforced on this blog. That is, if you reblog an ask meme off me, please send me one. Otherwise, reblog the meme from @karref

THREADS:

Jump on any open post, there’s no need to ask permission, they’re there for that reason!

I will be keeping my posts simple! I don't have the time/energy to make formatted posts, and I like to keep things as accessible as possible. I do try to keep track of the heavily plotted stuff, but the casual things might drop off. Feel free to remind me if it's been a bit!

Communicate! If you’re having trouble writing a reply, talk to me! If you don’t like or not feeling a thread, say so and drop the thread. That also doesn’t mean things are done for good. Come to me if you want to skip/do something else.

If you’d rather we move things to discord, just ask! I’ll set up a server just for us!

SHIPPING:

Shipping is welcomed and willing to discuss the possibility, but I leave the rest to chemistry and just how we as writers write. Kar is into male muses, and will be polite about turning other people down, unless one doesn’t take the hint.

I will only write ships with muns older than 21, but 25+ is preferred.

That being said, I will no longer tolerate stringing me along, or vague replies. Please be clear and direct. If you are interested; say so. If you are not or no longer wanting to go in that direction, tell me. Any vague or non-committal replies will be treated as disinterest and dropped.

This blog is multiship, meaning each relationship is treated as its own separate place in the multiverse unless discussed and agreed upon.

Kar can be polifidelitous. She’s okay with having multiple partners and those partners having partners if your character is cool with it. But she can be selectively monogamous in your little bubble too.

NSFW may be on here, or I might do it over discord. I'm playing it by vibes. As I don't really have any established romantic stuff since rebooting, I can't say with any certainty. Will update when I do know.

TAGGING/ HARD LIMITS:

Blood, Gore, Body Horror, Drugs, etc, will be tagged with (name); for instance drugs; . Special Tags on request.

Posts will be tagged upon request, just let me know!

If you read and understand this, I would appreciate if you'd leave a like the post, that way I know you have without forcing a password.

But if you'd like to message me, here's a DM icebreaker: What's your favorite extinct animal? (If you're lucky I may have cool fact about it.)

HOPE TO WRITE WITH YOU SOON! :D

[raccoonfallsharder]

Hi! I just wanted to say I've been reading through Window Across the Galaxy - inching forward but reading it - and the way you write Rocket is so damn good. Though maybe I'm biased to hell and back because that is also exactly how I pictured pre-vol. 1 Rocket, haha.

The switching perspectives offer so much. I love how much they are misunderstanding each other.

Your work is inspiring me to want to work on my own wip OC fic. I've only just finished reading chapter 2 but I'm so hooked on Jolie and Rocket's tale. I love all these little snippets we get about her and her career as an artist/appraiser/restorer is so interesting.

A few questions, I know there are a lot of little references to the comics here and there, some I recognize from my own forays into reading those, and when I don't, I look it up because honestly, you add so much flavor and life to the worlds you write that I feel the need to know more. For the stuff that isn't a reference or at least a direct reference (as in a product from a known planet), how do you decide on names and other specifics? I personally long to do that in my writing but struggle with thinking things sound believable.

My other question is do you have any tips for writing Rocket? I know technically he hasn't said anything yet where I am in the story - semantics really, lol - but even through his thought process it sounds so much like him.

friend. sunshine. dewdrop. every time i see a comment or message or ask from you, i get giddy as a six-month-old puppy. you are SO kind and generous and I appreciate your words & support SO much

i’m gonna (try to) answer your questions behind the cut because I am a wordy bitch. also these questions are hard because i don’t often think about HOW my brain works so i will do my best.

but first i wanna say that i am SO excited & honored to have encouraged you to work on your own oc fic! if you end up posting here pleeease tag me ♡ and if not that’s okay too. when i started Window i thought it was going to be just for me and honestly it freed me up to do whatever the fuck i wanted, at my own pace, and that is part of what has kept it fun for me.

K BUCKLE UP THIS IS LENGTHY

so in terms of the shit I just make up (Glortho’s Equation, Spartaxian sugardrops, various fruits and foods and soap and recycling-compressors and other general NONSENSE). this is a layered process.

Almost everything I make up, I try to root in a canonical environment/planet, and I want it to make sense for the characters to HAVE it.

so eg, recycling-compressors came about because, like, they just need a practical way to store or get rid of trash. Are they jettisoning it into space every cycle? Dropping it on a landfill planet? Rocket’s comics-canon disdain for Earth + mentions of intergalactic human lifeform rights policies that Earth doesn’t honor leads me to belief that MOST space-folk embrace more sustainable practices. could be a recycling planet, but i didn’t want them needing to travel there every eight rotations or whatever so i decided having a compressor would allow them to have longer gaps between unloading. but like, you could do ANYTHING. maybe most intergalactic packaging is made from products that can be burnt as a clean universal fuel or something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

similarly i wanted my best raccoon boy to have access to fish. but since he’s a broke-ass bounty hunter 90% of the time, it’s gotta be something inexpensive/accessible (or stealable) - which means it’s probably a cheap export from a planet with a lot of water. Hello, Morag (and the resulting Moraggian moonfish). Sometimes I’ll reference something already canonical in connection to something I fuckin made up just to increase the sense that all these things interplay with each other (zargnut-crusted moonfish sold by a street vendor on conjunction).

Sometimes I do the opposite. I try to imagine what a product from a planet would look like. eg Indigarran beeswax. I thought, what would Indigar export? It’s this gorgeous planet with a cathedral/palace/place of devotion made of glass. if i - an aesthetique lol - had a glass cathedral, I’d want that shit lit up with candles. Can you imagine how gorgeous that would be? Glimmering everywhere. That’s how i spent too much time dreaming up Indigarran beeswax ceremonial candles for a throwaway line somewhere deep in Window I think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also figure because of Kree imperialism in this region of the galaxy, a lot of shit is probably Xandaran. Relatedly if it’s a product associated with wealth, I’ll use Xandar or Spartax (also Atraxia but I think I made that planet up lol). I’ll use Asgard occasionally too but less often because it’s supposed to be at the other end of the galaxy. So if I’m referencing a luxury item, it USUALLY comes from one of these places.

For writing Rocket. I think @aliasrocket recently wrote something about this and I agree with like, every flawless thing they said. I listen to a lot of Rocket clips. I try to hear each spoken line in my head in his voice. Some verbs will end in a hard -ing, and some in a soft hanging -in’. I might also use a conjunction (even if it’s not a “usual” conjunction). Sometimes I use something like a liaison in French (I don’t know if there’s a word for it in English, but I basically smush two words together). Moreover, I’ll go back through Rocket’s dialogue on reread and just make sure I don’t go more than like 1-3 sentences without some kind of word-softening. Some examples:

“What’re you laughin’ at me for?”

“Why d’you wanna do that?”

In third-person narration from Rocket’s perspective (non-dialogue) i still try to use these sporadically, but nowhere near as often because I am trying to separate narrative voice from speaking voice just a little.

I also try to consider rocket’s frame of reference for everything from his perspective. What does he know about because he’s seen it? Heard of it? How did he see or hear it? did he learn about it from a fellow prisoner in the Kyln? Someone he did a job for in Conjunction? An alien refugee on earth? Iron Man? Did he steal it? Make it? Buy it? Was it given to him and by whom and why? How trustworthy is his source? How trustworthy does he think they are?

…

OKAY. wow if you made it to the end of this novel you are IMPRESSIVE and I hope it was at least a little helpful. if you have any other questions I will be flattered and happy to answer them and I’ll try to less fuckin wordy. ♡

you are a gem & a blessing & I hope your fanfic-writing brings you JOY